I don’t want that for us. I was willing to sacrifice my happiness for your mental health, but since Sleeman is doing such a good job, I’m going to stop forcing you to talk. If you feel the need to talk, that is ok. I’m just not going to bring it up unless I have to. I love you. I don’t want to wipe that smile off your face.”She slid out of her side of the booth and into mine, to hug me. With tears of happiness, she tells me, “I love you too. Promise me that you will still always be here for me.”“Of course, I will. You are silly to think otherwise.”“I know. I needed to hear it. That’s all.”“There is something else you need to hear.”“What’s that?”“There is nothing wrong with you.”“Yah, right.”“Hear me out. We are all human, and we all have our own faults. At least yours were caused by trauma. Most people have no excuse. I would like to think my faults stem from a similar place as yours.”“What faults. You are an athletic genius. Even when you step in it, you end up smelling like roses.. Do I look like I care about the sheets? I care about YOU. That's all."I exhaled hard, closing my eyes, preventing them from spilling tears and ruining our perfect night. I leaned my head into CJ's chest, hiding my face, feeling embarrassed...and dirty. "I feel gross," I complained."Do you want to take a shower, Baby?" Can I take a bath?" I asked, into CJ's chest.CJ slipped back into his briefs, and walked over to my side of the bed. He cloaked me in the soft robe as I stood on shaky legs. He carried a couple of candles, setting them on the tub and turning on the water. Feeling self conscious and vulnerable, I waited until CJ was back in the bedroom before dropping the robe.I looked in the mirror, expecting the worst. Oh my God! I thought, seeing the mess I had made on myself. Nobody ever said ANYTHING about this. I remember hearing 'you might see a little blood after the first time'. CJ's girlfriend is a bloody mess, the worried-looking girl in the mirror noted.Well this bloody mess.
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