I noticed that my captors had shaved my arms as I looked down at myalmost bare shoulders, my breasts and the straps of my bra and slip. Ifelt under my right armpit. I had no hair there either.The top of my slip had a lace trim too.I wondered whether the women crossing the road thought that I was onlywearing a slip or a slip dress.I was on the Westway now and had come to accept that anyone who saw mewould think that I was a sexy woman rather than a crossdressed man.I even thought of pouting at the builder crossing the road as I reachedthe lights at Old Oak Road, but thought better of it as I saw him staringat me and checked that the doors had not somehow opened as I drove overthe Westway.I felt vulnerable then, but it was not the vulnerability of a man dressedin women's clothes that I had felt earlier as I had now come to acceptthat I looked like a woman, I felt that I had a notion of what it waslike to be an underwear model being photographed for some advertisingcampaign.I thought. .. but instead you chose to squander it on your own selfish lusts..."In rapid succession, visions of the young girls I had abused over the years played out before me. And not just the girls, but the parents I had blackmailed into using – and allowing others to use – their daughters." ... piling evil upon evil upon evil with no end in sight. Corrupting and destroying everything and everyone you touched along the way..."Then came the visions of punishment, as I sought to use fear and intimidation to control the group, and finally, death. One by one, in graphic detail, the deaths of everyone who had died either by my hand or on my orders. My two girlfriends from college, Carmen and Monique; the father brutally beaten to death in the Clark County jail; the scene of Carl Andrews sneaking quietly through a suburban home, slitting the throats of the two sleeping girls and watching intently as they coughed, choked, and died; the same Carl Andrews, placing the hands of the girls' mother on the.
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