But, deep down, no matter how nasty things I did to Anna, I really loved and still love her. Of course, that didn't come clear until I was far off in the break-up, and sure it is better if we go on separate ways, she is better off without me. I sometimes miss her cuddle, and how much we knew each other.This year in Christmas, I am alone. No sweet Anna around to share a hug or a touch with. The past two years my horny person grew bigger and more expressive. Maybe it is better, that I actually like myself and am comfortable with it as it is for the rest of the year. But holidays season brings up this clingy person of mine. I am sure there is a fine lady out there who needs someone around, for these moments as I do. I'll find her, maybe she will be waiting in a cafe, reading a book, or going for shopping, but I will find her so that we share some intimate moments.Twenty years ago, I was waiting for Santa as a k** to come on Christmas to give me gifts, now I want Santa to come as a sexy. She felt her heart breaking but could not resist seeing him a final time. She raced through the forest and up the ridge, her heart hammering, hoping to catch a last glimpse of him in the glen below. She lay atop the small rise watching him moving through the glen below. Her heart skipping a beat when she saw his head lift up into the morning sun then look upwards along the hill. Their eyes met, even at this distance she could make out that familiar twinkle. She could see the smile on his lips when he raised his hand and waved. She could feel her throat constrict. For she knew as soon as he cleared the ridge at the far end of the glen, he would be gone forever. As he lowered his hand, she caught movement amongst the rocks below and saw one of the hated clansman from her past stand and level his musket at her father, her teacher, her love. She called out a warning, startling the clansman who swung about. There was a crack of thunder and her breath torn from her as the musket ball.
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