She chewed about twenty times before she swallowed. Any bits of meat that were irregular shapes, she pushed to the edge of her plate. She drank lots of bourb with each swallow. She dabbed her bright pink lips with a bit of newspaper. She kept spinning her box of ciggies. ‘BRO. EARTH TO FRASER. YOU WITH US?’ ‘Sorry, what?’ ‘Think you can take me?’ My body went cold as my flesh hardened into concrete. I pushed my chair back. ‘Think you can take me, cunt?’ ‘Scuse me?’ ‘Call Of Duty. You said you played.’ ‘Oh. Shit. Yeah, I mean… for real. Let’s go.’ He pointed at his dirty plate and I stacked it on mine (stupid, stupid) while Blake wiped his hands on this brown crusty patch on one of the couch cushions. I scraped everyone’s offcuts and bones into the Insinkerator and squirted dishwashing liquid onto the plates and scrubbing them. The Insinkerator was loud and it made me jump, like Blake was behind me with his saw. ‘Chops real well, that thing does,’ Blake went. ‘Not as good as the. She walked back over to the group and Ron was explaining the rules. All of the guys would sit facing out in a circle. The girls would circle around the chairs and when the music stopped they had to sit on the lap of the first guy they could. Since there were 23 guys sitting in a circle it was easy to begin with. Each time, the guy whose lap was used would move out of the circle until it got down to less guys than girls. The final 4 guys eventually got to dance with the girls for the next song. I know I was shitfaced, but this was clearly a way to have the girls sit on laps and maybe grope them, and nothing more. I was having trouble keeping from laughing, but it was important I seemed passed out. They turned the lights up just a bit, and the music started. Around and around the girls went. The music stopped and boom, the girls dove for the nearest lap. In the process I could see the guys reach and cup boobs and run their hands up legs and you name it. Lisa was walking around.
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