"But she's a great cook and really good with the kids."An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder:1. The DNA all matches.2. There are no dental records.A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"The agent replies, "Just a minute." Thank you!" the blonde says, and hangs up.Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez."How was he killed?" asked one detective."With a golf gun," the other detective replied."A golf gun! What is a golf gun?" I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'Joe: 'Really?'Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't. On the day of the party i arrived at Heather's house a nice terraced 3 bedroom in a reasonably nice street. I was welcomed by Heather and her girlfriend Val and shown through the house, both girls telling me to make myself at home. The house had a large semi open plan sitting room and dining room leading through to the kitchen and a small bathroom on the ground floor. Upstairs were 3 bedrooms and a very nice bathroom, Heather and Val's bedroom was at the top of the stairs and the room i was in was next to it, the doors adjacent to each other with the back bedroom and bathroom doors opposite them on the landing. The girls had prepared a meal for me and we sat down to eat shortly after i arrived. After our meal we went to get ready for the party, Val went upstairs first to shower and get ready. Meanwhile Heather and I sat and chatted and enjoyed a beer, as usual the conversation was coarse and smutty. I was next to go upstairs to shower and get ready. As i stood in the shower the.
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