I search the litterbins for scraps, I raid dustbins for anything I can eat and I do mean anything. It's bad enough normally, but it's hell at this time of year. You are constantly reminded of what you are missing out on. Christmas, it is said, is a time for giving; it is actually a time of realisation - a realisation of what you are missing, what you have lost and where you are heading. And I missed everyone, had lost everything and was heading nowhere.Do you know what it is like to talk to no one day in, day out? It's a nightmare, after a few days you start talking to yourself. Eventually you start going quietly mad, if you let it. To make matters worse, as soon as you become homeless, you become invisible. So no one talks to you and no one looks at you. You cease to exist. Christmas just makes it worse. But there is one good thing about Christmas. There are usually shelters set up for a few days where you can stay and get a good meal. I usually stick to soup; it's all I can manage. Startled by her fall she got up and quickly disappeared back around the house and snuck across the lawn to her car. She swiftly entered the vehicle, started the engine and drove off quietly in the hopes that she had not been seen.“What the hell?” Diane said to herself as her mind tried to digest what she had just witnessed. She wondered if what she had just seen was indeed reality and not just a figment of her imagination brought on by her loneliness and of course her lack of sexual contact. Diane drove home in silence, her mind was a mess as she tried to figure out what had just happened, everything suddenly seemed upside down as she felt like the ground had just been snatched out from under her feet.She finally arrived at home and parked her car in the drive way. She turned the ignition off, closed her eyes and let her head fall against the headrest of her seat. As soon as her eyes closed her mind replayed the images of her best friend on her knees like an obedient school.
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