I was apprehensive about my meeting today. I worried about it for like two days. I was like this is gonna suck. I don’t want to talk about the Night of Hell, but I have to if I want to get better. My therapist is a Malaysian cutie with a Masters in counseling. She was very nice and easy to get along with. Today was mostly a meet and greet with a couple of explorations into the hot spots. For a youngster, she’s not too bad and her heart’s in the right place. We might be able to help each other. I need to learn to deal with this anxiety and she needs experience dealing with people who have suffered deep trauma. I think we can do it. She’s still full of sunshine. It’s kinda cute.She asked me: “You survived don’t you think that’s worth celebrating?” I replied: “Let me torture you almost everyday for a year then come back and ask that question.” She sat back in her chair and I could see the wheels turning in her head. She wasn’t scared or offended. She was considering how such an. Do you remember on the message I left earlier…I said that there was something I had to do and a song I wanted you to hear. You remember that?”“Yeah,” I said with my head back in my knees again.“Well you know how sometimes you hear a song and it seems to say everything you want to say but can’t?”“Yeah,” I replied again. I simply didn’t know what else to say.“Well there’s a song I want you to hear. It says what I want to say better then I ever could. Is it okay of I put it on?”Again, a simple “yes” was all I would muster. After she stood up I raised my head to look at her as she walked towards the stereo. She had this quality that just lit up any room she was in. She pushed the eject button on my stereo and replaced the Melissa Etheridge disc I had in their with the one she had in her hand. Sensing she was ready to turn around I quickly hid my face again, not wanting her to see me. She grabbed the remote for my stereo from beside it and walked back to the bed where she sat down.
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