I led them to one of the apple trees and I rooted about in the hope of finding an old apple perhaps preserved under the moss. It was a totally vain hope but I hugged the mares and stroked their velvety noses. They sniffed around my leggings in the vain hope of finding some delicious titbit but I had nothing to offer. I wondered how their thought processes operated without having access to a human brain. I felt a little sorry for them as I considered the advantages that Juno and Jet now enjoyed.I also reflected on the fruit blossom and compared it with the promise of the rich harvest growing in my womb. I sat down amongst the apple tree roots and squeezed the soft earth through my fingers as I likened the fecundity of mother earth to the growing fruit within me. The two mares had grown tired of my company. There were no titbits to interest them so they strolled off to rejoin their herd. I realised that they would never have been allowed such freedom if Jet had been around to boss. .Miss January 1989, Fawna McLaren...I think I nearly wore her out, or was it the other way around?). The one thing my mother had asked was that I make sure that the first time I went "all the way" with a girl, that I do so out of love, not out of lust. She explained to me how that simple act of respect (for both myself and for the "lucky girl" as she put it) would teach me a lot about love for years afterwards.About a week after school ended the weather really began to heat up. We lived within walking distance of the town beach, and I had planned on spending my share of time there this summer. Not only did I plan on swimming and enjoying the sun, but I had decided the time was right to finally get myself laid. I had a few on-again, off-again relationships throughout school, but nothing was ever serious. I just felt that the girls who seemed like the type who would have sex with me were too easy and not "special" enough for me, and the girls that were special just didn't seem special.
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