She knew what my sister meant to me, and I knew what she meant to her. Right now, the person we each loved most was in critical condition. We didn’t know what to do with ourselves. When I was strong enough, I lost the wheelchair, and I just paced her room, the waiting room, anywhere. I couldn’t sit still. I volunteered to run errands for people. I needed to do something, or the grief would catch up to me and send me into a spiral. Ash was similar, needing something to do. We kept each other occupied, but our minds were each on Joc constantly. Days passed, I wouldn’t leave Joc’s side, wanting a friendly face there when she woke up. Finally, the head nurse told me I had to go home. I did. I showered, and got some clean clothes, but I just couldn’t sleep in my bed. I needed something. I called Ash. She heard the need in my voice and came over. My parents didn’t question it at all. She stayed in my room that night. I held her tight and close, occasionally, a tear slipping out. She turned. I took a chance and said,'please do not get offended, what was it like the first time you put oneon?'"She got up quickly and I thought I had lost a friend. However, she washolding a bra and said, 'Take your tee-shirt off and you can tell me howit feels.' I said, 'Experience is the best teacher, so, I will try it.Arms through the straps, no problem, help I cannot reach to hook it.'She hooked the back and said, 'You should need help, if not I would beworried about you.' We both had a good laugh and she asked, 'So, howdoes it feel?' I said, 'Other than strange, it feels soft; however, itseems rather tight across the chest.' She said, 'Well, it is my firsttraining bra, my size is the same 34 inch; however, I use the middle setof eyes to hook to, and I used the first set of eyes to hook you into it,so, you would wear a 36 inch, that is if you needed to wear a bra.' Isaid, 'Good information if I need to wear a bra, I do not, so help me outof this, please.' She removed the bra and I.
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