Then Bec was making me promise to stay with Dan or with Dad all the time and to even sleep in with Dan so that I would always be near him. That was easy to promise because I was already doing that. I’ve been getting shaky if I’m on my own for even a minute so I’ve been doing a lot of clinging onto Dan.I haven’t told anybody about the shakes. Not until now, anyway. I guess writing about them is like telling someone, but it doesn’t feel the same. I guess it’s like, if I don’t say the words out loud, I’m not really admitting anything. Besides, mostly I’m okay provided I can hang onto Dan.Going to the bathroom is the worst because I can’t exactly get Dan to come with me for that. It was okay when I was looking after Mum because she would be in the bathroom scrubbing herself and I would just go and not get shaky because she was right there.But then Dad put Mum into hospital. Taking Angie with me to the bathroom helps a little bit so now I do that instead but I don’t feel as safe as when. It started to spill out the sides of hismouth making a huge mess as it slid down his face."OH! Look at the whale; she stuffs so much food into her mouth that sheneeds a bib. This will never do, if you don't eat it all, you'll neverget all of your hormones and laxatives. If you don't get them all thenI'll never finish."She scraped the overflow off of his face and stuck it back into hismouth. "I'll go a little slower for now, but you are going to have towork on your eating speed. I can't spend all of my time on you, youknow."She kept on feeding him until he started to feel like he was going tothrow up."How is my little whale doing?" I feel sick, goddess." But you haven't even finished half of your food." she pouted. "Well, Ithought of that. Here." She pulled out a pill and fed it to him. "Thatshould help calm down your stomach. As for the rest of this food," fora moment he thought she was going to give him a reprieve, then shereached under the table and pulled out a blender, "you are.
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