How did you do that?"I don't know, I just ... concentrated on it, I tried to remember ... I don't know how I let you see it, too..."I had forgotten about that night with you."I came to you, Jackie. If I hadn't wanted it, I wouldn't have come to you that night. You didn't force me to do anything. Please see that. Please see how much you showed me, how much you taught me, because you loved me. I don't blame you for being curious, for ... having needs. I had those, too, and I can't imagine anyone I'd have rather shared my first years with. You were my true love, Jackie. My one true love. You gave me so much ... I want you to see that..."I loved you, Penelope. Love you. I always thought what we had together was the best there was. I went away ... because I felt I'd forced you to see things my way ... that I made you believe it was okay."It was more than okay, Jackie. I don't give a shit what others might think about what we did. It was wonderful. You made me feel good about myself. I owe. I had no idea where it was going. I think I sat at the back of the bus for a half an hour, regaining my strength and, yes, drying my eyes.’ ‘Eventually I recognized where I was, and I got off the bus and went into a small restaurant, one of those diners that caters to the down and out. I spent the rest of the evening in a booth at the back, stretching out a couple of large Cokes. Finally I left so that I could catch a bus to get me back home for my 11 o’clock curfew. When I got home I told my parents about what a great time I had, how nice my date had been, and what a great movie we had seen. They were so happy that I had finally been on a date.’ ‘Well, after that I never even thought about having a date in high school. The story of the whole, miserable episode made it around the school the following Monday. I toughed it out, but Brenda left at noon on Monday and never came back that week.’ ‘When she did come back, she wouldn’t come anywhere near me, or even look my way. I was just.
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