‘I didn’t mean to upset anyone,’ she offered. ‘You’re still not answering my question,’ I said. ‘What happened?’ For the first time in recent memory, Kathy turned towards me, both her face and voice softening as she spoke. ‘You really want to know?’ she asked honestly. ‘Yes, I do.’ Even then she hesitated. ‘It might shock you a little,’ she told me candidly. ‘After today, nothing could shock me,’ I thought, though I didn’t say that. ‘Try me,’ I said instead. ‘You know that Steve and I have been dating for quite a while now yes?’ ‘Yes,’ I said, though I now knew a whole lot more to that story than she realized. ‘Well, he’s been pressuring me to, well to you know…have sex with him.’ ‘Not surprised, but am guessing that you haven’t yet.’ ‘No, no we haven’t, though I have let him do a few other things.’ Once again I knew what some of those ‘things’ were as she’d put it, though I hadn’t read forward yet, so perhaps there were a few more besides that I wasn’t really aware of. ‘Go on.’. I entered the confessional and sat down. The partition opened and I said, "Bless me father for I have sinned, I've never confessed before because I'm not Catholic. Shit, I'm not even Christian for that matter." How then can I help you my child? The confessional is a sacred space for Catholics to confess their sins and seek absolution. Perhaps, if you are in need of counsel, I can make arrangements to meet with you outside the confessional." Oh, no, please father, I need someone to talk to and you are the only one. Anything I say here you have to keep a secret, right? Cross your heart and hope to die, right? Well, I need to confess and get a lot of things off my chest. It would make me feel so much better to do it here, where you can't see me. I'd be so embarrassed that I don't think I could tell you these things face to face, Father. Please."I was lying. I didn't give a half a fat fuck if he saw my face or not. I couldn't give a hot damn if someone looked me dead in the eye while I.
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