What would it feel like? It would be good to have an orgasm. I’d probably have several in a row at least, once I got going. And afterwards, would I feel fulfilled? Or empty and drained? Is a moment of pleasure, or even many moments of pleasure, better than the continual rush of desire, combined with the knowledge that I am serving a purpose? It feels good to serve a purpose. The feeling isn’t like the rush of an orgasm. It’s much more subtle. I do want to go back to the Temple, I’ve decided. But I think I should test myself further, and see if I really want this. It’s been very hard to keep the Device on when I’ve constantly known I could now remove it at any time. But then, it occurred to me, what would be harder still would be to remove it, while maintaining the same discipline. I’m now going to take it off for the night. Day 25 Last night I questioned everything. My sexuality. My sanity. My idea of what gives life purpose. Probably other things, too. I took off the Device. And make him pre-cum just by fantasizing her.I had fantasies for her but because she was my brother's wife, I always kept control over me, whenever she come near, her fragrance make me feel horny, and whenever she gets ready, wears lipstick, and styles hair, she can be felt in horny way.One day brother had to go to 3 day trip to singapore for his business work, and me and bhabhi went to drop him to airport, bhabhi was wearing a hot black saree, with low waist and a lot of back visible, she wore a black colored watch and a bracelet on other hand, and hairs curled and opened, which were touching her buttocks and they were enjoying moving on her back.We said bye to brother and my brother kissed her and said to me "Iska khyal rakhna acha!", And I said, "Ji bhaiya, " aur smile di and bhabhi also gave a naughty smile and said "Jaldi ana", and bhai smiled and went inside airport.During coming back I felt like she is my girlfriend and I am taking her to ride, we chatted and laughed on many.
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