Difficult Rating: 2Day 5Today, I considered quitting. I questioned why I was doing it, depriving myself of this tiny joy, and started to envision what quitting after 5 days or 7 days would look like. But I did not fail. I courageously pressed on.Difficult Rating: 8Day 6I started to put together the structure of this piece, converting iPhone notes to the words above. The very act of writing about NOT masturbating caused me to think A LOT about masturbating. I began to bargain with myself and consider loopholes in my experiment. Does “not masturbating” mean “not orgasming,” so am I permitted to touch myself just not to completion? Or is that somehow crueler to my body? Is it playing with fire, or does it reveal the strength of my will? Is looking at sexy photos itself a sort of masturbation? Wikipedia laid down the law:Masturbation: a definition.Masturbation is the sexual stimulation of one’s own genitals for sexual arousal or other sexual pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm.I. ??Then beg for it. If you’re a good girl and beg nicely, maybe I’ll give it to you.?All during their conversation, she had continued humping back against his hand. Now she slowed, clearly torn between wanting and humiliation. Verbalizing this kind of thing was difficult for her – he knew that as well as he knew she wouldn’t be able to cum from fucking herself with one finger. But that was the point; to drive her to desperation, until the need was great enough to break through the silence barrier. To force her to humble herself, humiliate herself not only by putting on a show but by begging for more while she did it.At last, a quiet mumble from her. ?P?please. Please fuck me with two fingers. Please, Master???A good start. But not enough.?I’m not fucking you, pet. You’re fucking yourself. Ask properly. And louder this time.?She made a sound that was somewhere between a moan and a sob. ?Please?please???Go on.?He waited while she took in and blew out several breaths,.
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