The sound of the water masked any creek he may make and he was able to find the perfect vantage point to watch her in the mirror without her seeing him in the shadows. Her fingers gliding over her body thrilled him so much that he had to force himself to stay still. The lotion application almost made him enter the bathroom and end the charade but Jacob was nervous and didn’t want to rush because of a sudden presence of teenage hormones. Silently, Jacob entered his room as she brushed her teeth. The thought of tasting her fresh breath and tongue almost pushed him to act once again, but Jacob was a patient man and knew that tomorrow would come soon enough. He wasn’t about to let the rest of their time alone in the house pass without some action now that he knew she was as horny and willing as he. Jacob laid down in the bed, giving Jan time to get to her room just in case she looked in on him. Disappointed that she didn’t at least peek in the room, Jacob clearly heard her door shut.. There will never be a chance to watch your hair grow back. I can’t ever remind you how beautiful you are, even when you’re bald and too thin. I promised I’d remember you like to be kissed gently, with a nibble at the end. Tears burn my eyes as I grieve for the lost chance to wake up next to you. I still want to hold your hand everywhere, at home, in public, during sex and while we sleep. I have so many questions that will have to remain unanswered. This loss, the slow grind of acceptance, is terrible. You fill my thoughts and my heart hurts. I wish for a different outcome. Crazy thoughts shoot through my head, bouncing off memories of you. What if I’d called sooner? I should have sent more little positive messages. I should have just asked permission to visit. If I had, you’d still be here, fighting. Then I wouldn’t have this huge ache inside. I recognize these thoughts as foolish, and I brush them aside. I focus on better, positive thoughts. On healthier imaginings. The other.
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