” He looked away and began to walk off.“Simon.” I forced him to look in my eyes. “Be patient with me. Let’s take some time and get to know each other better. We’re both too raw right now.”I saw a little spark of hope in his eyes when he nodded. “You’re right. If we did anything now we’d just be trying to fill the hole Sam left.”“Exactly.” By putting my fear into words, he helped to banish it a little. I stood on my toes to kiss his cheek. “Thanks again for checking on me. I’ll see you around.”“I’ll be looking for you,” he said with a sad smile.The rest of the day was a mix of ordinary boredom and crushing pain. I sat with Bethany at lunch. We continued to search for a way back to something like friendship. Joe came by long enough to check on me, then left me to go our afternoon classes. I saw Mark a couple of times, but he just avoided my eyes.When I got back home I was exhausted. I skipped dinner to go to sleep instead. That was the first night I didn’t dream I was in the plane with. I reveled in the preparation and joy of taking great care with my make-up. My tools included eye liner, false eyelashes, powders, blush, lipstick, and lip liners and more. I then painted my toe nails and glued long red nail extensions over my own longish nails making my male hands look suddenly so feminine. Next I added my first high quality blonde wig. It is designed to be taped to the scalp in the front and is so realistic that it can be convincingly be combed and brushed backwards off the face. I find my facial appearance breathtakingly feminine enough and incredulously (to me) pretty. With such long blonde hair I feel I have stunning appearance. In less than an hour I have skillfully glued and painted myself into a very sexy young blonde “gal”. All I needed now are my best choice of my wondrous female clothes of which I have an incredible two closet filled collection.I have a full closet filled with dresses and high heels! I have dozens of stockings, panty hose and a number of.
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