.'The old man hadn't said Seven to Ten Days ... No, he'd said Seven to Ten BUSINESS days.'Everybody knows governmental offices are only open 4 days a week ... Well, five really, but that fifth day is a myth. Nobody starts anything new on Friday. They start leaving at noon on Friday.'But this coming business week doesn't start until NEXT Tuesday.'This is Friday. Shit. I was already starting to sweat. I was doing my figuring on my fingers.'Today doesn't count, nor Saturday, Sunday and Monday is a Legal Holiday. There's four days just waiting for the first one that counts!!!'Tuesday, one.'Wednesday, two.'Thursday, three.'Friday, doesn't count and neither does Saturday, or Sunday, so...'Monday, four.'Tuesday, five.'Wednesday, six.'Thursday, seven ... and that's the soonest.'AARRGGHH ... if I test positive, and there's the best reason in the world for that to happen, it's two WEEKS from yesterday before I can possibly find out ... and if it's TEN DAYS ... oh shit! No! ... Wait ... Legal. I knew the judges wouldn't understand it though. Nor would the sponsors. Imagine winning Miss Blind America, opening a shopping mall or two, doing a commercial for sunglasses or condoms or whatever ... and then revealing that I fuck my dog. The Vagasil people might not worry so much, but Trojan? They don't even make condoms for dogs, do they?Prinia might like it though. "It must be the puppy chow!" Heh! Imagine that ad campaign!They stripped what's her name of her Miss America title fifty years ago just because she showed her tits in some Playboy magazine, like half the people in the world haven't seen those before! And the other half is trying to! Anyway, if they'd yanked her title, and she could actually see ... Just think what they'd do to a blind girl who likes a little doggy dick on the side. Can you say "Manned Mission to Mars"? Because that's where I'd be going if I was lucky. A one way ticket too, I bet. Peta would put a price on my head. The SPCA would make Bob go to dog.
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