John’s your first lover, isn’t he?”Both Wendy and John said, “Yes.”I asked, “Did you use condoms when you were together?”John said, “Yes. I know it’s against our religion, butI didn’t want to get Wendy pregnant.”Wendy added, “We couldn’t get married. We still can’t.Besides, I really love you. Aren’t you jealous?”“Extremely. But I’m also extremely excited. Watchingyou two was the most exciting thing that’s everhappened to me!” I said.“So you’re not going to try to hit me?” John asked.“No. I doubt if I could anyway, but I really don’teven want to,” I said.“So what are we going to do?” my beautiful wife asked.“Well, why don’t you call your parents and tell themyou’re spending the night here, John. Then let’s alltake off our clothes and go to our bedroom,” I said.“Are you sure?”. I heard someone coming, “Emily, where be thee,” someone shouted in a broad Lancashire accent. I stopped in mid stroke.“I’m here father,” Miss Loveridge replied.“Oh god, now what?” I asked and went to withdraw but she held me tightly to prevent it.“Say “Good Day” I suppose,” she replied.“Emily!” the voice bellowed, “I said woo the boody bloke not fuck he’s brain out.”Her father came in sight, a broad shouldered stout thickset man in a moleskin waistcoat and heavy blue overcoat cut in a style which has never and will never be in any way of the modern style.“Sorry father,” she said.“Good day Mr Loveridge,” I opined as I looked up at her father.“Bloody good day for thee, rogering me daughter,” he agreed, “Ee she could earn a bloody fortune down whore house but her mother wants a title for her see.”“So I understand,” I agreed.“So will thee make her an offer or shall I blow thee brains out with me pistol?” he asked as he brandished a shiny new revolving chamber pistol.“Can I think about.
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