'Last night was a toga party,’ I was told, ‘the best bit was that my girlfriend ended up showing her tits accidentally as her toga slipped when dancing!’ I asked if the girls went topless here but was told that none had. All three said that they had tried to persuade their wives and girlfriends to go topless but none had wanted to be first.I was then told that tonight was due to be a wet T-shirt contest but that none of the girls had the bottle and had hidden all the light coloured T-shirts. With no shops nearby it wasn’t going to happen. I then realised that I could become the best loved man here with my case stuffed with more T-shirts than you could shake a stick at. When lunch came around the other four couples arose and the blokes came straight over to us and I was introduced. The youngest guy was just 22 and here with his 19 year old girlfriend and the oldest guy was 44 here with his wife who was 35. As we ate I told them about my stack of T-shirts and was instantly handed about. ‘And why, pray, Box?’ ‘It is named after a village nearby.’ Donna slipped her arm around my shoulders and pulled me to her. ‘You, College, are a bloody mine of information. Who needs the Internet when she’s got you? My little Wikidyke.’ ‘Donna,’ I hissed. ‘There are other people on this train.’ ‘No slouch at observation either. Fancy a drink? I feel like getting you a bit tipsy then having my way with you.’ God but she talks loudly sometimes. To my astonishment she produced from her rucksack two glasses and a bottle of Champagne. ‘I decided we should travel in some style, hence first class and bubbles. I know how bubbles tend to loosen the elastic of your otherwise impenetrable knickers.’ Since when had she found them impenetrable? Oh, yes, since about 9 am that morning. That was the most recent occasion on which she had breached my defences. Insatiable! But I was not complaining. The train thundered through the countryside of Somerset, Wiltshire, Oxfordshire and Berkshire before.
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