Finally.... I feel like a weight has been lifted off my mind andchest.... I breathed in and out, trying to control my heart rate so Icould relax. I still had about seven minutes to get to my next class, soI chose to sit down on one of the ledges. I felt truly depressed nowthough. I just wanted to get back to doing and thinking what I used to.I wanted to think about my nightmare from when I first woke up as agirl. It was something, a secret I would never tell anyone here, but Ididn't really like to think about it at all at the same time. But I hadto or I wouldn't be me anymore. It had nothing to do directly with mytransformation into a girl, but I'm sure it is connected in some way. Ithought about certain aspects of that nightmare and started to feel likemy normal tired indifferent self, although more depressed now with myhead hung lower and my eyes less active. This is good though. This iswhat I want to be, not the normal person that is supposed to react toall this drama in a more. He nodded stiffly in thanks, and I lifted it to his lips without a word, allowing him to take a few good sips; it was much easier than forcing it into him while asleep.Aedan came in as I was putting the cork back in the skin, and he and Faren exchanged some sort of non-verbal communication using eyebrows and head tilts.I ignored it and cleared my throat. “I’m sorry, about before.” I waited, continuing on when it seemed he wasn’t going to reply. “I wasn’t keen on explaining what happened. You have every right to be angry, but I will tell you everything if you want.”Faren’s gaze flitted from my face to those of my husband and brother before coming back to rest on mine again. “Could you start with ... who exactly we all are to each other, again? I thought I understood, but I’m not sure now that I do.” His expression was unreadable, but there was something going on – something he wasn’t saying. He gestured with his head to the various chairs around the room – we sat, though I perched on.
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