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They all had tiny feet. With my transformation complete, I checked myself in the mirror adjusted my wig and walked out to show Gigi."Oh my God! s/he squealed walking up to me. "You're adorable!" But then with a wink s/he got in my face."For a chemo patient! That old wig looks like something people would get to hide the fact that all their hair had all fallen out!And as for these clothes, they look like some frumpy shit you stole from your mom's! Admit it! I know your type"Gigi was making hir way down a hallway. "I think it's time you saw the real Gigi. I need to show you how hot you can look, Miss Lori Ann."In what seemed an eternity Gigi transformed hirself from a flaming gay male to a stunning sexy cross dresser. In fact s/he was the hottest looking person I'd ever been alone with. When I saw hir bare white legs hir short tight black leather dress, with matching long boots I was so turned on I started to hyperventilate."Oh my God!" exclaimed Gigi. "Are you all right?"The gyrl. "As we waited to be seated, my nephew came to me, glanced Katrina up and down and, "Wink, wink, nudge, nudge... You did alright for yourself, Auntie Em." Grinning insanely, he continued his stand up act, "Did you see the cake Mom picked out for you?" Then leading me to a large sheet cake. "See, it looks like a carpet... carpet muncher, get it?"Subtlety has never been my big sis's best asset. We finally sat. I was still very worried about a faux pas from my loving nutritionist. Then it happened!As I began pouring two gallons of gravy (as lumpy as one of the Three Stooges skulls) over five pounds of lumpier mashed potatoes, she could remain silent no longer. "Do you know what that crap is doing to your body?"Her diatribe brought jeers and profanities from others across the table. Soon, clumps of spuds were being launched at us by spoon catapults. It was like "Game of Thrones, the Vegan Years." I had to get her out of there before chainsaws were deployed. She is mine to protect. This is.
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