"Hello, my name's Liz Harmsworth. I'm sorry we missed your party last night. We were asked out to dinner. Could the four of us come to you tonight?" Of course. What time would you like?"Seven-thirtyish?" Fine. I look forward to meeting you."Jenny could not resist it. She stuck her head into the kitchen. "We've got a booking for four for dinner," she said excitedly.James's face lit up. "Great," he said. "We're off."Jenny went back to the bar as a tall, woman in her late thirties or early forties walked in followed by a tall, tanned man in an open necked shirt. Fred stood up and raised his cap."Good morning, Fred," they both said."Mornin', sir. Mornin', m'lady." He went back to his paper."Hello," said the woman to Jenny. "I'm Ginny Everleigh and this is my husband, Henry. We live at The Manor. I'm sorry we missed your party last night but we had a dinner party and your round robin arrived after we'd organised it."Jenny smiled. "Don't worry at all, Lady Everleigh. It was pretty short. “Wow!” she exclaimed as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love.The next day the couples rejoined their normal partners and went off together. As they walked along the Earthling male said, “Well, was it any good?”“I hate to say it,” she said, “but it was really wonderful. How about you?”“Well,” he said, “It was the weirdest thing. She kept slapping me on the forehead and pulling my ears all night.”After years of doubt I’m now convinced my wife is having an affair.We’ve moved 250 miles north and we’ve still got the same window cleaner.My neighbour just walked past with two dogs. I said to him, “I didn’t know you had any dogs?”He replied, “They’re not my dogs, they’re my sisters.”I said, “Wow, your sisters are really fucking ugly.”GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMANBetween 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa - half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe - well-developed and open to trade, especiallyBetween 31 and 35, a woman is like.
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