Wish I could enjoy TV along with him, or be there every day making life for him, or I was never born so he could spare the time he spent on me and did what he enjoyed most a more. I will never know.I have regrets, now that he is dead. I had them when he was alive. I think I tried to live his life for him. I backed out frequently allowing him freedom to chose, he didn't.Maybe that was his choice.My mom was a piece of art. I thought she was stupider. But she could listen. We told her everything. She had lots and lots of friends. Getting to a strange place, u'd expect her to make a few friends within minutes. People talked to her. She could have been a super therapist. Never did she tell them that she knew better. Whenever I confronted her, she d put a sordid face.' ... but I m stupid.' Till this day we never talked heart to heart, or rather Broca's area to area. She always had her masks.Wish I could see the lady behind the mask. She is the reason, we kids have careers. She would sit. " He led her to his living room and coaxed her onto his lap. "I bought some condoms today," he said. "I didn't want that to be one more thing for you to worry about. I figured a lesbian wouldn't have much need to be on the pill, and I believe it's the man's responsibility to make sure his partner is protected." It was sweet of you, Ben -- but lesbians also suffer from irregular, long and uncomfortable periods, just like straight girls do." You're on the pill?" he asked.She nodded. "Otherwise I'd be incapacitated for a week each month." She regarded his face for a long moment. "So, unless you have some condition you need them for..."He shook his head. "I'm clean of STDs if that's what you mean. I'm sure you don't have anything, either." I don't ... Oh, Ben -- I couldn't do this with any other man." I love you, Molly." I know you do. I love you, too." You have such a pretty face ... wholesome ... gorgeous..." He traced her full lips with his finger. "Your light skin and blue eyes ....
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