One person pointed out that I was being unrealistic on how long I was having my character hit a golf ball, the story was a fantasy but hey he was right about it being unrealistic, and he had brought it up politely so no reason not to make a change. After making those corrections I reposted the story awaiting further comments and hoping for a few compliments.There were some attaboys and requests to keep writing, but another reader pointed out that my story would go better if it was a girl protagonist rather than a male, so Robert became Roberta and I reposted.This was followed by a deluge of emails. I had forgotten to do a search and replace for; he, him, and his. I said a few choice words but made the corrections and reposted.Again a few good comments but one really good thought. Golf though played by women is more of a man's game; I should have her play tennis instead. I thought about that and it seemed like a good idea so I rewrote the game, of course I now had to describe some. As good looking as this woman was alive, its amazing she is so much lovelier she was with no pulse or movement. The death of Nozomi Ishikawa should be celebrated. Well he certainly would celebrate, he smiled.The attacker took all the clothes off the girl's corpse except her stockings and high heels. Nozomi's cherry red lips were tasty looking. Her lips were parted in death slightly. Her eyes were slightly open in her death stare as she died. Her killer thought she looked better with her eyes closed. He ran his hand over her eyes to close them. "Rest in peace, Nozomi-chan!" He laughed as he said this. The truth is he had followed her for weeks and planned the murder.He kissed her cherry red, but dead, lips. He looked in her purse and found more lipstick. He kept it. He thought it might prove useful for future killings of lovely ladies. He might want to decorate them after the murder. He was tracking 5 other beautiful women to murder in the next month. He was excited about his.
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