Since I amexpecting, I am more careful. I don't want my babies harmed. I drive adesk until I deliver.Back to the party. Nicole turned on the sound system and started someJazz. Right about now KoKo Taylor sounded perfect. I hoped she had someBela Fleck tunes. A warm sunny day in May, good music, friends, foodand drink. I was in near bliss. I wished Barry were here for I feltlike dancing. He is so light on his feet. I closed my eyes and letNicole and her friends talk among themselves. I felt like an oldersister to all of them and found out that Helga was studding to be aVeterinarian, Heidi was in prelaw and Katie planning to be apsychiatrist. Nicole was back in school and taking Criminal Sciencecourses.She said to her friends. "I want to be a full fledged cop like Bobbie.She is trying to make Lieutenant."Oops my secret was out.Heidi wanted to know. "Why didn't you tell us?"I told her. "That this was a time for fun and not for me telling oldwar stories."Just then we all heard the sounds. I was tormented with guilt and remorse over my past. I’ve done things I’m not proud of ... been involved in relationships I wish I hadn’t. I even doubted that I was worthy to be your bride.”“I told you -- your ... history with men, as you call it, is of no concern of mine. I don’t care how many previous lovers you’ve had, whether it be one or a hundred. I don’t want to know the details. How much or how little you share with me is up to you, but I don’t care.”“You’ve told me this over and over,” she replied. “Every time I feel the absolute truth to it. You haven’t told me why.”“You want to know why I don’t care?”April shook her head. “I NEED to know. I worry, Ron. I worry that you’ve convinced yourself you don’t care but deep down have nagging suspicions that some day will surface, and you’ll ask yourself, why did I marry a woman with a reputation?”“The answer is simple, April. Those men, those relationships ... they’re part of what formed you. They’re part of your makeup. Without.
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