It didn’t end there though, because I was still nervous. I read stories on Lush about people meeting for the first time – and they didn’t quieten my nerves. Patrick was away on a very busy assignment, but took the time to read those same stories and figuratively cyber-hold my hand and other parts of me as we awaited his return. The day of our meeting dawned as all days do. I had spent a week preening myself and felt glossy and light. Every inch of me was waxed, loofahed and oiled so that I felt a bit like a sensual sacrifice, a maiden being offered at a pagan ritual. It was amazingly sexy. I stopped the car and got out quite close to the reception area of the hotel and nervously straightened my clothes before entering, buying myself a last few seconds. We’d decided we wanted our meeting to be private, so I asked him not to meet me at my car but to wait in his room. To save me the discomfort of having to ask for him, he’d given me directions, so I walked purposely past reception and. I watched the animals, one here, one there, lifting up their heads as though they heard some kind of call. I followed them, so many, all coming together, and the birds. Then they were all shut in, and the rain started.’ I shuddered. ‘It was awful. The water rising, everything fighting to reach high ground, then covered. The most horrible part was the birds – they just flew round and round, looking for somewhere to land. When they were exhausted, they just tumbled to the surface of the water, floated there, dying.’ I stopped, lifting my hand to my face, feeling wetness. Tim looked across at me. ‘Are you OK?’ ‘I don’t understand,’ I said. ‘What’s happening?’ ‘Come over here,’ he said. I went and sat on the bed by him, and Tim took my hand. ‘Do you not cry?’ he asked softly. I shook my head. ‘Not before.’ He traced one finger down the wetness on my face. ‘Maybe being here is changing you.’ I hesitated. ‘I didn’t think that was possible, but maybe you’re right.’ Tim squeezed my hand..
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