I don't do burglaries on the side, I don't have a lesbian best friend - or nutty gay guy friend if you saw the movie with the fabulous black actress playing his part, and I don't solve murders in my spare time. I have an exterminator for any mice, not a cat that I have to worry about feeding all the time. And worst of all, I don't write anywhere near as well as the guy who writes about that Bernie. But still, he only hints when he writes about sex; I like to get kind of graphic.I've also never been in jail like that other Bernie; I don't carry lock picks either. The only locks I have any interest in opening are those on chastity belts. Does anybody know what a chastity belt really looks like or how it works? Do they exist? Did they ever exist?If you've ever been in a used bookstore, you know that there's a lot of down time in that business. There's plenty of time for me to do crossword puzzles, read oodles of books and, when the opportunity arises, lock the door and give one of my. Hanging on the back wall of the case was Steve’s football jersey with the number 12 barely discernible because of the blood that had soaked through it. Next to the jersey was a placard that simply stated ‘Spartan Blood’. •**** Steve arrived at the Andersons’ home shortly after noon on Thanksgiving Day. As he guided his uncle up the driveway, he counted the cars in the drive. ‘There’s going to be quite a few people here today, Uncle Joe. Don’t let it bother you. They’re all friends and some of the best people I’ve ever met. Mrs. Anderson is a fantastic cook. You’ll have a great time.’ ‘I hope you’re right,’ replied Steve’s uncle. ‘I don’t like crowds very much. You know that. If that sweet talking girl of yours hadn’t made such a big deal of it, I’d have stay home. I go out once to see my nephew after he wins the state football title and the next thing you know, I’m a regular globe trotter.’ ‘We’re only a few miles from home. Gwen and herfamily would’ve been really disappointed if we.
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