.?" Christmas is coming and you and I are going to be the hottest coupleever."I think it's good when your lover keeps surprising you."You know it's okay to be a girly girl," she announced when we took alatte break, without having bought anything. Perched atop tall stools inthe window of an artfully bland coffee shop overlooking a busy shoppingprecinct, we got sticky fingers sharing a Danish pastry and watched theworld go by. When I slowly sucked the sugar from her fingers the look ofdisdain thrown our way from a mature, immaculately casual couple in abooth behind us made me laugh."Is it okay to be a lesbian?" I asked, maybe a little loud."See. You already don't give a shit what people think about you and mebeing a couple." That's different. I don't feel judged for being your girlfriend." You feel judged for being a girl?" For being not always a girl."She was about to say 'fuck 'em' again, so I interupted her before she?dstarted."I?ll do my best."Though it felt good to sedately browse. I shuddered — only you knew my longing for pain, coupled with a need for love and affection, and only you could fulfil my yearnings so completely... I spent the day thinking about you, dearest, and all the things you'd done to me in the past, and wondering what you'd do to me in the future... I soaked in the bath, remembering how you'd dominated me even when you were a boy. You were ten when you came into my bedroom one night when I was undressing, and told me you wanted to see me with nothing on. I couldn't refuse you, and I let you see me naked, and I realised that I liked you staring at my body. Then you made me sit on the bed, and you took out your penis and made me fondle it, and you rubbed it against my face... And then, when you were twelve or thirteen, how you'd started to hold me roughly, and feel my body — I was powerless to stop you, and then the day came when you kissed me passionately, forcing your mouth on mine and gripping my breast painfully, and I hadn't been able to.
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