I was grateful that Susan didn't see me because I was not sure how she would view the events leading up to the death of her best friend.For the burial I again retreated into the background, trying to stay away from everyone, including my own family. This was something I felt that I could not share, even with them. As the vicar droned on I became lost in my own thoughts and failed to notice Stephanie's mother approach."You bastard!" She yelled. "You stole my little girl and murdered her."Following the first two words she began to hit me. I made no attempt to defend myself, in fact I felt a little gratitude. I was being punished for what I did. What she was doing to me was trivial in comparison to what I'd done, but someone besides me felt that I was to blame. I deserved whatever this grieving mother could give me. She continued to hit me and scream, although her words never reached my consciousness. I felt that this was a penance that I must serve. Vaguely I became aware that the. "I'm tired of this tease bullshit. I'd rather go jack-off in private." I left my sister speechless, walking right out of her room.I got into my own bed and I had this grand plan of slowly jacking-off, taking myself to new heights, though keeping it so quiet Angie would never hear a note of it. I got really hard thinking about it, but then my brain got distracted and I wound up just falling asleep.And boy did I have a boner in the morning. I was fast asleep on my front--the damn thing sproinged me out the bed and onto the floor. I got back in the bed, and me and my boner made our accommodations ... there was no reason for us to not get along.I made a big mess in a dirty shirt, having figured it all out.I kept away from the occasions where I could've gone with my sister to play again in her room. Night after empty night. I refused to let her hear any sound of myself alone. I refused to join her. And I maintained that standard.It was another night of the folks out and us on the couch.
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