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Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they're gonna pay.You have my Word.What's green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?A pool table.Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.Poor bastard.I went to a really emotional wedding the other day.Even the cake was in tiers.We have a genetic predisposition for diarrhea.Runs in our jeans.A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.He yells "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"A hot blonde orders a double entendre at the bar.The bartender gave it to her.Want to hear a word I just made up?Plagiarism.Why do cows wear bells?Because their horns don't work.What did the pirate say when he turned 80?Aye Matey.To the handicapped guy who stole my bag--You can hide but you can't run.I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.If anything, it made him more sluggish.And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life"But John came. ‘What, you are already blushing like a virgin? What do you think you will be doing, once we arrive?’ ‘Fucking,’ he said, trying to be cocky. ‘Being fucked,’ she corrected. ‘You do not understand how you have been trained?’ ‘I understand.’ ‘You will be fucked in all possible ways. You will be fucked in ways that do not seem possible. You well be well rewarded for your efforts.’ She paused. ‘Well, are you getting in the car?’ ‘Yes.’ She had put down a towel to cover the leather seat. ‘Be careful,’ she said. ‘This is my husband’s car. He is very protective of it.’ ‘He permits you to drive it?’ She snorted. ‘None of this is done with the permission of my husband. Come, let us proceed.’ ‘What about Brian?’ ‘He will arrive on his own.’ He had expected that they would turn right at the entrance of the neighbourhood, to go down to the main highway, but instead she went left, back into the woods. There wasn’t much up that way, at least not this time of day, this time of year. No snow yet for.
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